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His Secret, Her Secret

Bailey


09 Jun. 2018 33



A plot that twists like the back alleys of Ano Syros!

When Foti, from Syros, married Gulai from Kasudasi, Turkey, each of them knew they were going to have to do the impossible: rise above the historic and religious tensions between their respective peoples, and choose to be happy.   And they did it.  Two scientists who denounced traditional religions, Foti and Gulai had shown all the islanders  a modern marriage of intellectual curiosity and mutual respect.

Until now.  Something was changing.  Each of them was keeping a secret from the other.

His secret was that, after years of being an atheist like his wife, Foti had recently become a devout Muslim. For the last 10 months, he had been secretly attending prayers at the home of Ali, the Syrian butcher at the Syros port.  What would his wife think of his conversion to Islam, her former faith; the faith she had denounced decades before as 'backward' and meaningless? Would she still be able to respect him as a man of science now that he'd become a man of faith?

The more consumed Foti became with concealing his secret, the more distracted he was from noticing that Gulai, herself, was slipping away from the house for hours at a time.  He wondered: could she be cheating on him? 

One night, determined to find out who it was she was meeting, Foti followed Gulai through the dark street of Ermoupoli. Tailing her without detection, Foti watched her go down a dimly lit alley  where she was greeted by a shadowy figure with outstretched arms. Foti followed them inside expecting to catch Gulai in the embrace of her lover. Instead, as his eyes adjusted to the hazy, candle-lit room, he was confronted with the sight of a shocked Gulai standing at a church alter receiving Holy Communion from the local priest. 

  


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Bailey

Virus666 & TestMe, I think the implausibility of two atheists both finding comfort in religion after years of secular life, is exactly so improbable that an audience would never suspect the ending. Yet, it really could happen if the audience learned the rationales of the characters and their story archs.


virus666

It sounds weird how come two atheists wanted to find out each others tradition religion even though they are atheists... the plot could be as much exciting as the writer wants , Best of luck!


TestMe

I think that having both of them the same secret makes it not so realistic. I would prefer it if one of them reacts like this and the other one feels betrayed for all these years. In any case it is interesting!


evgkas

A common similar secret that shows us how easier will be our life if we ...talk! Nice try! Good luck!


bluesky

Interesting plot !! I would like to see a surprising and full of twists ending in your full script. Good luck!


administrator

@Bailey of course you can!!! Edit it through your Control Panel!!


Bailey

Am I allowed to edit my summary to be shorter? I know the story is good and I want to encourage more readers!


Bailey

Deadpool & Killerman I very much appreciate your validation that it is a good plot. I KNOW that it's too long and too detailed and that's what it preventing people from reading it and voting on it. I made a mistake! I thought the details would help readers understand the characters' motivations. But instead, the details are boring readers who are looking for a quick trailer. And the rules are that you can't make any changes. Oh well. We live & learn.


deadpoolb3

Your description is too long. Make it shorter because it was tiring and you miss readers from that. Nice plot.


Killerman

I really like it but PLEASSSEEE make your summary shorter because people won't it read it!!! You don't have to upload the whole thing..:-)


maria_kasteloy

Kind of interesting story but unfortunately we have watched this motivo a lot of times. Maybe your approach will be different. I hope so. Moreover, your summary is huge. I would like something not so long. I think that you give details that the reader wants to understand on his own. Good luck!


audienceguy

This is a spectacular story! I could see this as a phenomenal short film with the winding streets of Syros as a way to build the suspense! Love it.


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